Beautiful Confusion

Real Life. Real Truth.

Wednesday, December 29, 2010

It’s Not About ME (Application)

A few weeks ago, I talked about busyness and how it often causes us to make our worlds all about ourselves. In that, I touched upon the human phenomenon of constantly striving to do everything on our own in our own way without seeking first God’s plans and ways. Today I provide you a real-life example of what that looks like. We can thank my three-year-old friend “Max” for the simple yet profound metaphor.

I love kids. Their energy, their craziness, their creativity, their lack of self-consciousness. One of my favorite kids, Max, exudes all of these things and brings me much joy because of it. Max has recently discovered the world of video games (low-tech, v-tech, Handy Manny style), and he is hooked! Recently I sat beside him as he excitedly turned on his gadget anxious to play a specific game he had in mind. After turning on the machine, he ran to grab the controller to get to his game as fast as he could. The only problem is, while Max knew exactly what he wanted, the system is too sophisticated for his three-year-old self to operate on his own. Thus, in a matter of seconds, chaos ensued as Max frantically shook the controller, pounded buttons, and pointed at the screen, shouting, “I want that game! I want that game!” To me, the solution was a no-brainer: Max simply needed to hand me the controller. After all, I possessed the knowledge necessary to efficiently give him exactly what he desired, and without burden. However, Max did not agree with my proposed solution, but rather yelled, “NO! I want to do it! I’ll do it myself!” And we’re back to the frantic shaking, desperate button pushing, and superfluous frustration.

Did I possess the physical strength and authority necessary to simply force the controller out of Max’s hands and get the job done? Of course! Did I do it? Of course not! Although I was well aware of what Max wanted, and not only knew how, but desired to get him there, I also knew that part of his growth and development depended on struggling through his choices and learning from his frustrations.

As I sat back on the couch, my mind reeled wondering if this is how God feels with us. Like I did with Max, God knows exactly what we desired and desires to show us how to get there. However, like Max, don’t we more often than not clench the controller of our lives and yell, “NO! I want to do it! I’ll do it myself!”? However, whereas Max ended in the frustration of not reaching the game he had in mind, we end up in pits of disappointment, stagnation, and unfulfilled hopes. And rather than turn to God and surrender the controller, we look at him embittered and scarred and say, “If you’re all powerful and all knowing, why didn’t you do anything?” The most basic parenting informs us that children cannot develop if everything is done for them, yet we feel justified thinking that if God really loved us he would forcefully intervene at every twist. Why should it be any different? He calls us his children, after all, right?

So today I challenge you to think about Max’s situation as a metaphor for God’s work in your life. Ask yourself how you respond when you just can’t find your way to your desired destination. Do you turn to God as the all-knowing Giver of all good things, or clench as hard as you can, yelling “NO! I want to do it! I’ll do it myself!”? No matter how old you are, what skills/knowledge you possess, or what you’ve been through, I challenge you to consider that maybe in the eyes of God, we will always be children in need of a loving, wise hand to guide us. Consider that maybe in our times of frustration, he isn’t absent at all, but rather standing right beside us saying, “I know what you want. Just give me the controller. I would love to show you the way.”

Saturday, December 4, 2010

It's not about Me! (Part I--Busyness)

Oh the hustle and bustle of American life. We’ve all been there—the “to-do’s,” the jobs, the relationships, the needs, the tasks, the hobbies. There’s something mysterious about the way they all just pile up. I have finally come to a point where I can openly admit that I tend to have a problem. A big problem. And its name is busyness.

As a full-fledged over-committer, I get to the point where I have to schedule nearly every second of my life in order to get through all that I try to fit into one day. I become my own micro-manager, and things better go according to plan. But sometimes that just doesn’t happen. In fact, it’s becoming more and more apparent to me that real life doesn’t actually conform to my schedule, nor does it submit to my micro-management. What happens in times such as these?

I have encountered this conflict more times than I’m comfortable admitting and the outcome is no pretty sight. Reflecting on these times of schedule strife, I have found a few common threads. When faced with a reality that does not align perfectly with my detailed schedule, I find myself having one of two responses. Either I have to run around (often literally) in a frenzy in order to keep or catch up OR I become absolutely overwhelmed by and inundated with stress, leading me to outlash or despair.

Regardless of the coping mechanism or exit strategy I choose, I have discovered a shocking bottom line—In moments of excessive busyness, my whole world becomes about my time, my schedule, my desires, what I need to get done. Absolutely everything in my own little universe becomes about ME.

In my own little ME world, I exhibit a few key characteristics. Namely, I become intolerant, short-tempered, impatient, irritable, lacking in gentleness, and lacking in compassion. Not a very desirable me at all. Isn’t that ironic? That the moments where I most intensely make my whole life for and about me are the same moments where I am furthest from the me I want to be. What in the world does this mean about life and living and doing and planning?

Evaluating this realization, I can only come up with one explanation. All I can say is that if living for my ME world which revolves around what I think needs to happen leads to such frenzy, stress, and self-destruction, then life must not actually be about me.

This is precisely the theme God keeps on laying on my heart. All of my doing, living, working, planning is actually not about me. The reason? When I make all of these things about myself, everything becomes about my glory. This does not work because I am not sovereign. It is not about me. It is not about my glory. It is about God. It is about His glory. What would my life look like if I actually made that exchange?

What if instead of so fervently seeking the promises and security of the world, I sought the plans, promises, and security found in God? “Seek thee first the kingdom of God and his righteousness, and all of these things will be added unto you”(Matthew 6:33). I would unfailingly have all that I need, perfect provision, without the stress and battle involved in trying to secure it myself.

What if instead of pushing my agenda or reputation, I consulted God’s plans and sought to lift up His name? “He who is exalted shall be humbled and he who is humbled shall be exalted”(Matthew 23:12). In the end, God would rise me up with him to be “seated at high places” (Ephesians 2:6). The need to “fight my way” to the top would vanish.

I wonder what kind of key characteristics I would exhibit if I really did make my life a little less about my busy schedule and a little more about God. What would this release of control and self power leave me with? Here’s where I have to make another confession—I’ve experimented with this a bit. The results are astonishing. When I slow down, quit the micro-management, and give God space to move, not only to I have rest, joy, and security, but I find myself truly able to extend love, patience, and mercy to the people around me. I find myself becoming the me I want to be. The me I was made to be.

So I leave you with a challenge—to do a little experimenting yourself. In the hustle and bustle of your daily life (especially in the chaos of the holidays), try and see what happens if you loosen the reins on your schedule and task list and let God take the driver seat. See how you feel and who you become. My guess is that if you give up the fight (even just a little) to glorify your schedule and desires, you will find a glory that leads to a greater you because it is so much greater than you ever could be. And in that strange loss of personal power, you will feel more empowered than ever before.