To call my life an adventure might be one of the biggest understatements of the century. Constantly I find myself in new and unconventional places, situations, cultures, and groups of people. There really is never a dull moment. Lately, especially, I have been in a period of non-stop travel and exploration. Time and again people tell me, “I’m so jealous! It must be nice to travel the world! I would never get to do that!”
Largely, what I hear makes a lot of sense—I am exceptionally blessed and rich in experience, after all. Lately, though, something hasn’t sat quite right within me. I find myself anxious or regretful if I am not doing something new and exciting at every moment. Contentment does not always seem within reach.
How can it be that I, an individual who at 25 years has seen more of the world than most cover in a lifetime, can still feel like I’m missing out? In this struggle for contentment, God has spoken. In the restlessness of my heart and mind He keeps showing me that I am looking in the wrong places. In all of my adventure, I keep falling into the trap of looking to a certain place or certain experience to bring me to the contentment my soul longs for. I have found myself at a point where often my travel, experience, cultures, and exploration become my life. At the end of the day these things cannot bring me the life I desire.
King David says that “My soul will be satisfied as with fat and rich food, and my mouth will praise you with full lips when I meditate on you, for you have been my help, and in the shadow of your wing I will sing for joy. My soul clings to you; your right hand upholds me.” (Psalm 63:5-6)
Funnily enough, he doesn’t mention that when he has rich foods, or when he visits a new place, or when he has a certain job, or when he has a certain relationship will his soul find satisfaction. David’s soul, unlike mine (all too often) clings to one thing and one thing alone—the God who satisfies without fail, regardless of circumstance.
So what about you? Are you content? Is your heart and mind at rest regardless of the circumstances of your life? If not, like me, you may need to check in on what your soul clings to. Is it adventure? Or maybe a career, or a family, or a relationship, or money? It really doesn’t matter—only one thing will give you what you actually long for. The God whose “steadfast love is better than life.” Clinging to Him and Him alone, you will find real peace, joy, and contentment that nothing in this world can offer, no matter how exciting or successful your life may be. And that is the Grand Adventure I'm after!
Monday, August 29, 2011
Thursday, August 18, 2011
With Nothing to Hold On To
I’ve decided that grad-school is not a good enough excuse for my blogging hiatus—God is saying and doing too many things not to share. I hope you’ll be blessed.
Once again, my life stands at a crossroads in many ways. At this point, I truly don’t have anything to hold on to: no family of my own, no career, no home, no fixed community, etc. I find myself without any of the securities which normally mark maturity, success, or stability. By all worldly logic, I need to “get my act together” and “figure things out”—I am lost. I admit, I struggle with these thoughts on a daily basis. Here I am nearly 25 years old, and still all of the big question marks remain. It’s high time I grew up, right?
Regardless of this very logical conclusion I have come to, God tells me something very different on a daily basis. Something which at times terrifies me and at others floods me with comfort and excitement. It can all be summed up in one verse: “You are for my glory…that you may know Me, believe Me, remain steadfast in Me, and understand that I am He.” (Isaiah 43:10)
When I live frantic about finding my “home,” career, family, community, etc. I deny God’s and my own identity. In seeking to “secure” these things, I am not living as one made for God’s glory, but as one seeking to build up her own kingdom.
So what do I do? Surely I cannot deny that we all need homes, jobs, and families. Where does this fact fit into living as one created for God’s glory? In the verse above, God says that all I need to do is remain steadfast in Him and understand that He is who he says he is—Almighty God, merciful provider, loving Father, King of kings, Sovereign of the world—He works out my life because it’s actually not about me. I am not the sovereign, glorious One no matter how often I live otherwise.
Seeking God’s face, maybe I can start to understand that “it is God who works in you to will and to act in order to fulfill his good purpose” (Phil. 2: 11) Simply stated, I leave all of my question marks to him to determine. I surrender.
That great, but you still don’t have a job, family, or home, you say. In His time, in His way, by His grace. Because what God seems to be shouting at me at this point is, “Don’t you see? You’re in the best place you can be—make the most of it! Right now you have nothing to hold on to but Me. As I lead you and fill in the gaps in your life, continue to live that way…ALWAYS, for I am your stronghold. I am your dwelling place.”
So here I am, praying for open doors and learning how sweet of a dwelling place and glorious position I already have—one that far outweighs any place, career, or person God will ever lead me to. According to King David’s advise, I am not going to freak out or try to build the walls of my own kingdom, but “hold onto God for dear life” trusting that “He’ll give me the best care if I’ll only know and trust Him” (Ps. 91:14). And crazy as it may sounds, I hope to always and forever live that way.
Once again, my life stands at a crossroads in many ways. At this point, I truly don’t have anything to hold on to: no family of my own, no career, no home, no fixed community, etc. I find myself without any of the securities which normally mark maturity, success, or stability. By all worldly logic, I need to “get my act together” and “figure things out”—I am lost. I admit, I struggle with these thoughts on a daily basis. Here I am nearly 25 years old, and still all of the big question marks remain. It’s high time I grew up, right?
Regardless of this very logical conclusion I have come to, God tells me something very different on a daily basis. Something which at times terrifies me and at others floods me with comfort and excitement. It can all be summed up in one verse: “You are for my glory…that you may know Me, believe Me, remain steadfast in Me, and understand that I am He.” (Isaiah 43:10)
When I live frantic about finding my “home,” career, family, community, etc. I deny God’s and my own identity. In seeking to “secure” these things, I am not living as one made for God’s glory, but as one seeking to build up her own kingdom.
So what do I do? Surely I cannot deny that we all need homes, jobs, and families. Where does this fact fit into living as one created for God’s glory? In the verse above, God says that all I need to do is remain steadfast in Him and understand that He is who he says he is—Almighty God, merciful provider, loving Father, King of kings, Sovereign of the world—He works out my life because it’s actually not about me. I am not the sovereign, glorious One no matter how often I live otherwise.
Seeking God’s face, maybe I can start to understand that “it is God who works in you to will and to act in order to fulfill his good purpose” (Phil. 2: 11) Simply stated, I leave all of my question marks to him to determine. I surrender.
That great, but you still don’t have a job, family, or home, you say. In His time, in His way, by His grace. Because what God seems to be shouting at me at this point is, “Don’t you see? You’re in the best place you can be—make the most of it! Right now you have nothing to hold on to but Me. As I lead you and fill in the gaps in your life, continue to live that way…ALWAYS, for I am your stronghold. I am your dwelling place.”
So here I am, praying for open doors and learning how sweet of a dwelling place and glorious position I already have—one that far outweighs any place, career, or person God will ever lead me to. According to King David’s advise, I am not going to freak out or try to build the walls of my own kingdom, but “hold onto God for dear life” trusting that “He’ll give me the best care if I’ll only know and trust Him” (Ps. 91:14). And crazy as it may sounds, I hope to always and forever live that way.
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